Aurie and the Shadows

Aurie had often asked Noah to put his wings around her in the last few weeks. She was grateful when she felt this infinite love flowing through her. It helped her to better endure the fear she sensed in others.

She still didn't know what was wrong with her grandmother. But recently she had noticed the shadow that was moving over her grandmother's heart very often. It was very stressful for her. Her heart would feel heavy and she would feel as if a burden was crushing her. Then she would get all jittery, as if she had to try to shake it off or somehow make things cheerful. But she didn't feel at all comfortable doing that. But above all she couldn't understand why her grandmother couldn't just talk about it, but kept everything in silence. It felt as if it was forbidden to even ask about it. It made her furious.

Aurie sat under her apple tree, wrapped in a thick jacket, her thoughts constantly circling. She closed her eyes and asked Noah to put his wings around her again. She sank deep into the love she felt inside her and sighed.

Then Noah’s question came back to her mind: Where does the fear come from?

Yes, where did her grandmother's fear come from? Aurie really wondered.

Suddenly she thought of a little girl who was wandering through the rain in the dark and was clearly frightened. She was perhaps 5 years old. Aurie was amazed.

“That’s your grandmother,” she heard Noah say.

She opened her eyes and there he was again sitting in the grass in front of her. She smiled gratefully and enjoyed looking at him again. A deep peace flowed through her at the sight of his shining robe.

“They left them in an air raid.”

“In an air raid?” asked Aurie.

"Your grandmother experienced the war as a child. One evening, when the sirens went off, they forgot about your grandmother as everyone ran into the basement to get to safety. Your grandmother woke up and no one was there. She ran outside in panic and wandered around. At some point a neighbor saw her and brought her inside. Your grandmother never forgot that."

"That's terrible!" said Aurie. "I would have been scared too! She never told me that."

"She wanted to forget it. It wasn't a pleasant experience," Noah explained. "And she doesn't want to scare you with it."

"Is that why my grandmother always jumps when there's a loud bang somewhere and why she always disappears into the basement at midnight on New Year's Eve?" asked Aurie.

Noah nodded.

"I was wondering, but now I understand," Aurie murmured thoughtfully.

“And why has this fear returned now?” Aurie wanted to know.

“You heard about the war that broke out in the other country, right?” asked Noah.

Aurie nodded sadly.

"And that has awakened the fear in your grandmother again. All the old memories have come back. And the old fears are big again. That is the shadow that you perceive on your grandmother's heart."

"But that was so long ago! And there's no war here," said Aurie after thinking for a while about what Noah had said.

"That's right, Aurie. But your grandmother never really got over that shock. Back then, everyone was preoccupied with their own fears and your grandmother had no support. She felt very alone. And so she never really healed from that enormous shock. Her body still has the memory stored deep in its cells. And even though there is no war going on where you live, the thought of it is enough to provoke the same reactions in her."

"That's terrible!" Aurie put her hands to her head. "But now I understand why I was often so restless. I could feel this fear so clearly, but I could never place it!" Aurie sighed.

"You have very good antennas." Noah smiled at her. "This is an opportunity for your family," said Noah.

Aurie was surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Children sense the old, unresolved shadows of their families and all their ancestors. Especially when they have such fine antennas as you do." He winked at her. "All of your ancestors' experiences are also stored in your genes, in your body, in every single cell. Both the beautiful experiences and strengths that your ancestors experienced and developed, as well as their weaknesses and unresolved shadows. That is your inheritance. And as you have already described, you don't feel well when you perceive the old shadows. Their energy disturbs your innermost harmony and peace. Then you are no longer connected to your own power, you feel separated from everything. That goes against human nature. Everything is connected to everything. Everything that has not been processed will appear again and again. The shadow wants to come into the light and be healed. That is the principle of life: it wants to cleanse itself and restore balance."[1] Noah paused briefly.

"In order for something new to come into the world and for the world to change, it is important to dissolve the shadows. It is important that you do not unconsciously continue to live the shadows of your ancestors," Noah instructed her.

Aurie sighed. No, she really didn't want that. She found this situation, being confronted with her grandmother's fear, extremely exhausting.

"You're just realizing what your grandmother's unresolved fear is doing to you, Aurie. However, many children unconsciously take on the old shadows of their ancestors. They sense them, but cannot protect themselves from them. They feel the same unrest as you, but have no explanation for it. And at some point they think that this is normal. But it isn't," Noah explained.

"But why don't the adults protect us from that?!" Aurie suddenly exclaimed angrily. "They're their shadows! Why do I have to put up with them as a child?"

"Look, Aurie, if adults were aware of their shadows and had the courage, they would have taken responsibility for them and dissolved them. But many adults are not aware of the shadows themselves; they have also inherited a lot from their ancestors. And they think that what it triggers in them is normal. You now know what your grandmother experienced - and that is only a small part. Most people do not know what their ancestors experienced because they often kept quiet about it out of shame and tried to forget everything. This strategy just doesn't work. Don't bear them any grudges," Noah said gently. "You are not in their shoes and have not experienced the situation." Aurie had to agree with Noah.

"I will now show you an exercise, Aurie, that you can do to protect yourself from the old shadows in your family and the world."

Aurie breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad to have Noah by her side to teach her all this.

"Pull your light egg around you, Aurie, as I taught you. Make sure that it completely surrounds you and that you are completely protected in the light. With every breath, be aware that you are completely protected and safe within it. Everything loving can penetrate into your heart, everything heavy and negative bounces off your light shell. With every breath, fill your light egg more and more with light. Collect the light within you, like an infinite sun. And with every exhalation, let the light flow into the world, like the sun sending its warming rays. Feel the peace within you.

Be aware of why you are here. Remember your vision. It is your task to act for the benefit of all people, to show them the way back to love and to bring the new knowledge here to earth. It is your task to dissolve the old and to live the pure, redeemed form of being human. Even if you can feel the old, heavy things that have arisen through all the people before you: it is not your task to take on this heavyness. It is not your responsibility. Shine your light through the night, shine into their hearts. If they follow the light, they will take responsibility for what they have done. That is the law. Everything wants to be brought into the light. Give them your love, shine your light into their hearts. Perceive the darkness, but do not absorb it. Ask your guardian angel to protect you from the old shadows. Hold up your light and strengthen it."

Aurie noticed that she could breathe more deeply and felt space within herself again. The oppressive fear that she had felt before no longer overwhelmed everything. She could still feel it, but she no longer had the feeling that it would swallow her up. Aurie let the love radiate from her heart, towards her grandmother, but also towards her ancestors, whom she no longer knew. She had to smile.

"Dissolving old shadow energy is a big task and children need strong spiritual help to do it," Noah continued. "I will show you how you can get support with this. But not today." Noah smiled gently at her.

"Now it is important that you learn to gather your light in your heart and strengthen it. Let your light shine into the darkness. Learn to see the darkness without taking it into yourself."

Aurie sighed. Yes, she really had to learn that. She often wanted to provide relief when she felt this heaviness or fear in her environment. But now she understood that it didn't help others if she took on their heaviness and unrest. It only led to her own energy being reduced. She then felt as if she no longer had any space, as if she could no longer breathe freely. She didn't want that.

"Noah? Will this ever change? Will the adults ever learn to protect their children from their old shadows?" Aurie asked doubtfully.

"Look, Aurie. By learning to protect yourself from the old shadows and thereby strengthening your light and your power, you break this cycle. You actively decide not to adopt the old patterns. This gives you the chance to bring something new into the world. That will have an impact on the adults too." Noah winked at her. "I'll explain how that works another time. That's enough for today."

Noah stood up.

"As I said, it is an opportunity for your family that you no longer want to take on and carry on the old shadows. Your decision will also change something for your family. Collect the light within you, Aurie. Let it flow into the world."

Noah looked deeply at her and Aurie felt as if she was sinking into his gaze and his love. She felt so safe and protected. Noah disappeared and Aurie leaned against her apple tree, still touched by this feeling. She felt the love radiating in her heart and smiled. How grateful she was to be able to feel this deep love within herself again.

[1] Hübl, T. (2021). Healing collective trauma. Understanding personal and global crises and using them as opportunities. Munich: Irisiana Verlag.

© Sara Hiebl