Aurie and working with the shadows

Aurie had been very quiet in the last few weeks and had often retreated to the garden. She felt like she had more space inside herself since she had done the exercise with the blue star for the first time and asked Archangel Gabriel for support. Somehow she felt like she wanted to have more space outside too and not spend much time with people who still carried their unresolved shadows with them. She enjoyed the silence and felt like she could breathe freely again for the first time in a long time. She knew that she couldn't retreat forever, but it was doing her good right now.

Aurie stood under her apple tree and closed her eyes. She consciously painted her egg of light around herself, as she had done so many times before. She felt the power and love that gently surrounded her and let herself fall into this security. Then she spread her arms and placed her feet hip-width apart on the ground. She breathed in deeply and asked Archangel Gabriel to protect her. She could now feel his energy when he appeared to her. She had done the exercise a lot in the last few weeks. She raised both arms above her head so that her hands formed a point and let Gabriel's sky-blue light flow from her fingertips. With both hands she drew a sky-blue line of light to her feet. Right hand, to the right foot, left hand, to the left foot. With the next breath she raised her arms again and crossed them in front of her chest. In this way she drew the sky-blue line at the height of her shoulders. Then she breathed out deeply and stretched both arms out to the side so that the line of light could connect at the height of her arms. She repeated the exercise three times. At the end she thanked Archangel Gabriel for his protection and breathed deeply.[1]

Aurie stood under her apple tree with her eyes closed, felt her feet in the grass and breathed deeply. She wondered if her grandmother's shadows would always be so noticeable. She suddenly felt a deep sadness in her heart. So much energy and joy of life that was lost because of it! If she could feel that so clearly with her grandmother, what did it mean for the whole world? What did the old, heavy shadows in the world, left behind by wars, do to people? What shadows did disputes in families leave behind that were never resolved? Aurie could suddenly feel people's suffering when she opened her heart to it. It made her feel really sick. She quickly concentrated on the blue star again, pulled it around her again and asked Archangel Gabriel for his protection. She hadn't expected that. She breathed deeply. Aurie wondered if there was no way to dissolve these shadows and the old suffering.

“Yes, there are.”

Aurie recognized Noah's familiar voice and smiled happily. She opened her eyes and was enchanted by his golden-yellow glow. It was always a gift to feel his energy and the deep peace that emanated from him.

"Of course it is possible to dissolve the old shadows," Noah repeated. "The pain that arose when people did not act for the good of all - whether it was through a war across the country or disputes - travels through the generations until someone is ready to feel it. Often, however, people try to suppress this pain and not talk about it. Also because they are ashamed of it and do not want to take responsibility for what happened. As I told you, Aurie - you are a gift to your family because you are ready to feel this pain. And with you, it is possible to dissolve the old pain and break the patterns so that the new can emerge," Noah said gently.

"How is that supposed to work?" asked Aurie. "Just because I feel my family's old pain, will it go away?"

Noah grinned. "That's where it starts, yes. I'll show you what you can do." He looked at her good-naturedly.

"You have already done the protective exercise with the blue star in connection with your light egg. This is very important so that you are not overwhelmed by the old pain when you start working. You have noticed that the energy can be very intense. It has been building up for a long time.

Now imagine your ancestors in your mind's eye, all standing in front of you, at a distance that feels comfortable to you. Welcome them.

Remember what I taught you about gratitude.”

Aurie remembered the cycle of give and take and what Noah had taught her about gratitude.

"Your ancestors have achieved a lot. They have paved the way for you so that you can now live in this world as you do. So that you have everything in your life that makes life more pleasant for you than for all the people before you. Without your ancestors, this would not be possible. Appreciate what your ancestors have achieved. Fill your heart with gratitude for it." Noah paused briefly.

"Recognize that they did the best they could at the time and took the responsibility they could. It is not your place to judge whether that was "right" or "wrong," or "enough" or "too little." You did not experience that situation. Who knows what you would have done in that situation yourself. Accept that that is the past," Noah explained to her.

Aurie thought about what Noah had said. She realized that she felt resistance within herself. How could she accept a war?

"Aurie." Noah smiled at her. Of course he had noticed her resistance before she could even say anything. "Resisting something that has already happened is completely pointless! Remember that. You can't undo the war," Noah said gently. "But what you can do is help to ensure that such things don't happen again. That is your responsibility. If you erase all of your and your ancestors' mistakes from the past, you would also erase your wisdom from those experiences now in the present. So remember the lesson from the old mistakes."

Yes, that made sense to Aurie. It would be dramatic not to remember what a war does to humanity.

"Be aware: Your ancestors did the best they could at that time and with their awareness. If they had been able to do more, they would have done it. Be thankful for that."

As Aurie went into the feeling of gratitude for her ancestors, she could feel a great warmth expanding within her. She had the feeling that great joy was emanating from the group of her ancestors that she saw in front of her. And gratitude too, Aurie noticed with surprise. "They are happy that their achievement and effort are seen by you," Noah confirmed her perception.

"Now tell your ancestors that you want to help them to resolve old suffering and pain that has arisen through their actions or inaction. So that old wounds can heal and peace can emerge. Peace that then also creates space for new paths, new possibilities and new coexistence. This is urgently needed on earth," Noah urged them.

Aurie formulated this wish within herself, because it was really important to her. And again she felt a great joy coming from her group of ancestors.

"By your willingness to resolve the old pain, you help them to take responsibility and make amends for things that were no longer possible for them during their lifetime," Noah explained.

A deep shiver ran down Aurie's spine. What Noah had said touched her deeply.

"Because everything is connected to everything and you have common roots, you can perceive the unresolved pain of your ancestors. These experiences are also stored in your body, your cells, as I have already explained to you," Noah continued. "Ask one of your ancestors who would like to work with you first to come forward. Who can you see?" asked Noah.

“My grandmother,” Aurie whispered.

"Now allow yourself to perceive the unresolved pain of your grandmother and the associated feelings in your body.[2] Be aware that you are completely protected and safe in love and that nothing can happen to you. I hold my wings protectively over you and so does Archangel Gabriel, as you asked him to do."

Aurie breathed deeply. Slowly she dared to open up to her grandmother's pain and feel it in her body. But she was glad to know Noah was with her. Aurie felt her stomach cramp. She felt sick and felt great fear rising within her. Then she felt great sadness and the miserable feeling of being abandoned.

“Apologize for the suffering that has been caused,” Noah instructed her.

Tears ran down Aurie's cheeks. "I'm sorry that my grandmother had to experience such great fear. That there was no one there to take away her fear. I'm sorry that she was abandoned because the others were struggling with their own fear. I'm sorry that she had to experience the war. I'm sorry that no one was able to protect my grandmother from this pain. I'm sorry that so much pain was caused." The words came to Aurie as if by themselves.

“Ask for forgiveness for what happened,” Noah continued.

"Please forgive my grandmother's parents for not being able to be there for her at that moment. Please forgive that no one thought of my grandmother. Forgive that this war started and caused so much suffering. Please forgive my grandmother for being so scared and not being able to let go of the fear her whole life. Please forgive that people have forgotten the power of love," Aurie whispered. She noticed how great relief began to spread within her.

"Now go into love,"2 Noah said gently. "Fill your heart with love, as I have already taught you, and let it grow in you with every breath. Let the love flow with your breath, to your grandmother, to her parents, to the people in the war. Let all the weaknesses and mistakes of your ancestors sink into this love. Love the experience and the lesson from this situation, because it is valuable for people today. Feel the love that also flows from your ancestors to you."

Aurie expanded her heart in love and let it flow to her grandmother, her parents and the people in the war. Because she had practiced it so often, it was now easy for her. When she felt the love radiating back to her from her ancestors, she was deeply touched.

“And now, go into gratitude again.” 2 Noah continued.

Aurie took a deep breath. "I am grateful that the neighbor discovered and protected my grandmother and that she is still alive. I am grateful that I do not have to experience war. I am grateful that I was able to recognize the cause of the unrest within me. I am grateful that you showed me how to dissolve the heaviness."

“Allow healing to happen. Be grateful for the miracle. Be grateful for your life.” 2 Noah added.

Aurie felt a deep sense of relief and calm within herself. She breathed out with a sigh of relief and opened her eyes. Noah stood in front of her and smiled at her.

"Forgiveness is the door to love, Aurie. It can heal everything." [3] he said gently. "What we just did is called Ho'oponopono and is an old Hawaiian forgiveness ritual. You can do it any time to dissolve old shadows and create freedom and peace for yourself and your ancestors. But you can also use it when you yourself have made a mistake or acted wrongly. Then you have to forgive yourself first so that you can then correct your actions out of love and take responsibility. For example, remember your anger at your friend when she moved." Noah winked at her.

"Noah, that was very exhausting." Aurie was silent for a moment. "But I'm so grateful to you for showing me that! I feel so relieved. And I'm really glad that the old shadows don't have to last forever. If only everyone knew that and would dissolve the old shadows! That would be such a relief for all of us!"

"I can only agree with you, Aurie. I can tell you: every single one brings about a change. Every little shadow that is dissolved brings about a solution in the past and a solution in the present. And from that a new future will be created. Everything is connected to everything." Noah grinned.

"Now I'm going, Aurie. You're having a visitor," Noah said suddenly and then he disappeared.

Aurie looked around in surprise. Then she spotted her grandmother, who was coming down from the house to her in the garden. She sat down on the bench by the pond and waved Aurie over. Aurie ran to her and put her arms around her. Her grandmother kissed her on the top of her head and whispered: "What a gift you are to this world." Then she sat there with Aurie and looked at the pond in silence. And Aurie could feel that the shadow in her grandmother had become a little smaller again. She smiled quietly and was very grateful in her heart. At some point she would tell her grandmother her secret - but not today.



[1] Theotoki-Atteshli, P. (1997). Daskalos Meditations. Gates to the Light. Duisburg: Edel-Druck GmbH.

[2] Duprée, UE (2021). Ho'oponopono. The Hawaiian forgiveness ritual. 38th edition. Darmstadt: Schirner Verlag.

[3] Kaiser, A. (2022). The Fisherwoman. A new archetype. P. 82. Zurich: Licht-Herz Verlag.

© Sara Hiebl