Aurie and the Ego

Aurie sat under her apple tree in the sun and was thoughtful. She thought she had had a very special few weeks.

She had tried the game with the angel with her friend Julia. And it actually worked! It was a funny and strange experience because over time you really got the feeling that someone was standing in front of you. Julia always had to giggle as soon as she felt the angel in front of her.

She could now feel Noah with her much better thanks to the game. She was very happy about that. It also helped her on days when she wasn't feeling so happy to be able to feel him with her. It made her feel safer and less alone.

Above all, she had tried in the last few weeks to listen to Noah's signals and follow them. She didn't always succeed. Sometimes she was just too lost in thought and didn't notice. But she had managed it quite often and had had interesting experiences as a result. That was what she was thinking about at that moment.

So one very stormy day she suddenly hopped into her rubber boots because she felt she absolutely had to go out onto the street. She stood there in the driveway and waited. When she was almost ready to go back inside (it was already very stormy), an old woman turned the corner and at that moment her shopping bag ripped off and all her purchases tumbled across the street. Aurie immediately ran over and helped her collect the things. She helped her carry the things home (the old woman lived almost around the corner) and the old lady thanked her so much. In this weather she had not expected to meet anyone else on the street.

Another day, she was sitting in school and listening to the teacher. She had the feeling that she really needed to go to the toilet - even though she didn't actually have to. Curious, she went there. In the toilet, she heard loud sobbing from the far corner and there was a very desperate little girl. Aurie sat down on the floor next to her, gave her her handkerchief and asked if she could help her. The girl told her about a big argument with her brother and that she didn't dare go home now. Aurie hugged her and when the girl had calmed down a bit, she offered to walk her home after school. The girl nodded vigorously and gratefully.

Aurie was very grateful that she could help the angels and thus other people if she listened carefully to the signs.

One rainy day, as she was walking to school, she suddenly heard Noah's voice calling out, "Jump to the side!" She was so surprised that she just stopped. And the next moment she was soaking wet - a car had driven through the puddle right next to her at high speed. After her anger had passed, she had to laugh. Listening to these signals definitely needed more practice.

Now she really wished that Noah would show up again. She had an issue that she just couldn't deal with. Her friend had suddenly moved and was no longer there. Aurie sighed with a heavy heart. She just didn't want to accept that and wanted things to be different again. Her thoughts became heavy when she thought that her friend's place at school would be empty again tomorrow. She was lost in her sad thoughts when she suddenly heard Noah's voice behind her and looked up.

“Hey, who would be so grumpy on such a beautiful day?” Noah smiled kindly and sat down on the lawn in front of her as usual.

Aurie was once again overwhelmed by his wonderful yellow-orange robe and she immediately felt the deep peace he radiated.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time!” she shouted at him.

“Should I go again?” Noah replied peacefully.

"Oh no!" Aurie looked at him in horror and realized that she had been unkind to Noah. She had taken out her bad mood on him. She was sorry.

"I'm sorry, Noah. I'm in a bad mood."

“Because your girlfriend moved away?” asked Noah.

"How..." Aurie fell silent. She remembered that Noah was always with her and never left her side. Of course he knew why.

"I want her to come back. I want her to sit in her seat at school tomorrow and I want her to be able to play with me during recess. I don't want her to have moved away!" Aurie said defiantly and angrily and she crossed her arms in front of her.

Noah looked at her silently.

“It’s unfair that her parents just moved!” Aurie blurted out.

"Aurie, why are you resisting it so much? It already happened a long time ago," Noah asked calmly.

"Because I'm sad that she's gone. And because I miss her. And because I don't want her to live anywhere else!"

“Does she want that?”

Aurie became quiet. In her anger and sadness she hadn't even thought about that. "I think she misses me and the others. But she was happy when they moved. Now she lives closer to her grandma."

“Would you be happy if you could live closer to your grandma?”

“Of course! I would never want to move away from my grandmother!”

“Are you happy for your girlfriend then?”

"I do now," Aurie said sheepishly. "But I still miss her."

“Is missing someone a different feeling than the anger I felt before?” she asked Noah.

"Oh yes! The anger earlier made me furious. Missing him just hurts my heart a little."

"Look, Aurie, now you're thinking about your girlfriend too and it's a different feeling. Before, you were only thinking about yourself and your ego was very strong. It didn't want any change and resisted everything. But resisting something that has already happened is completely pointless! That's crazy! Look what the anger has done to you."

Aurie looked at her feet, shocked. "I was suddenly very angry with my friend. As if she had done it on purpose to hurt me. The anger just kept getting bigger. Oh dear. I wasn't a good friend anymore."

"It's important, Aurie, not just to think about ourselves, but also about others. Then the ego is small. Then there is more lightness, joy and togetherness. When the ego is big and only focuses on itself, then it goes to war so that it doesn't lose anything. But war always has an effect on you and on everyone else. Look, your anger could have destroyed your friendship."

“But I still think it’s a shame that she doesn’t live here anymore,” Aurie replied sheepishly.

"That's completely fine. You can think something is a shame. You can think something is stupid. Or you can think something is good. But look, right now, at this moment, you think it's a shame that your girlfriend doesn't live here anymore. But are you still resisting it like you did before?" asked Noah.

"No. It's okay that she moved away. I just think it's a shame," Aurie replied.

"You see: no resistance. Just a feeling. If you feel your feeling now, the missing. What can you do now?" Noah asked.

"I can call her and play with her via video. Then I can also see what her new room looks like!" Aurie suddenly beamed. "I can also write her a letter and paint a picture. Then she'll definitely be happy when she opens the surprise. And I can think of her and give her lots of love in my heart. That might make up for the anger I had at her a little."

"It certainly does," Noah agreed. "You see, Aurie, now that you've let go of the resistance and felt your feelings, you can clearly see what you can do. When you're in resistance, it's not possible. Resistance always makes things difficult."

“Yes, my heart is much lighter now,” Aurie breathed a sigh of relief.

"It will always happen that your ego gets in the way, Aurie. You can tell by the heaviness in your heart when you are resisting. Then think: Can you change it right now? Can you leave the situation? If not, then accept the situation, accept it. Let go of the resistance, like you just did. Check your feelings: how do you feel at this moment? How do you feel about it? And the next step: What can I do now, in this moment? And then the lightness will return."[1]

"Thank you, Noah. You helped me a lot! I didn't know I was making it so difficult for myself." Aurie beamed at Noah with relief.

"And don't forget: don't just think for yourself, think for others too. That's very important now. You are not only responsible for yourself, but also for how your actions affect others. Now your friend will receive love from your heart again. Be aware of what you trigger in the world." Noah stood up. "And whether you think something that has already happened is good or bad - let go of the resistance. See what you feel. See what needs to be done."

"Noah!" Aurie called, looking up at him. He paused. "Thank you!" Aurie was truly relieved.

Noah smiled at her and walked past her and around the apple tree again. And as he did so, he stroked her head - it felt like it, she could hardly believe it.

Aurie was very relieved and smiled happily. She consciously tried to send the love for her friend from her heart to her. She imagined it as a bright line of light that now outshone the dark line of anger from before. Inwardly, she apologized to her friend. When she noticed that her heart was getting lighter, she stood up and hopped back into the house. Now she wanted to call her friend and finally see her room via video!

[1] Tolle, E. (2008). Now! The power of the present. 19th edition. Bielefeld: J. Kamphausen Verlag & Distribution GmbH.

© Sara Hiebl